babli_ms

I'm constantly restless and anxious. I don't know why. Probably my thesis still hanging over my head? So I had a meeting with my supervisor yesterday. For the first time it went well. Last Saturday I was sending her e-mails brainstorming ideas for the perspective I want to take in my thesis. She found everything problematic, repetitive (as in too many scholars have already been-there-done-that) or too one-dimensional. So I was like stuff that. Fine. How about I write a thesis about how I disagree with EVERYONE and say what I think. I knew she'd hate it!

Lo and behold she liked it! So I made a thesis outline based on this, took it yesterday and she read it during the meeting. The silence while she read was excruciating. Finally, she said she liked it. We worked out chapter structure and I started writing today. I wonder what problems she'll point to now!

On Wednesday morning, JUST before I woke up, I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that I got third class honours. This is 40-54%! I woke up sweating. What scared me more was that my honours isn't finished yet. Anything is possible.

God I need a holiday!

I forgot to mention that on January 12th, my dad's youngest brother, his wife, my parents and I went to Atlantic City. It's basically a mini Las Vegas, a mini gambling place that is close to New Jersey/New York. My uncle drove us around for a while before taking us to Trump Taj Tower, a casino. It was so much fun! We played on the poker machine for quite a while! I only won $8 while my uncle won a hundred! Combines total of my parents, my aunt and my uncle was about $150 or so, which paid for dinner! There was an Indian restaurant in the casino. Nice, quiet place with good ambiance. There was a small structure of Taj Mahal in the restaurant. Clichéd but nice. It was 2:30am when we got home.

So although I was so happy to see everyone in New Jersey again I was also sad because I knew I only had a week left. But we made the most of it. We got back on the Saturday right? So on Sunday my uncle's family, my parents and I went to iHop. Yep, International House of Pancakes! You would not believe the crowd! We had to wait half an hour for a seat! It was a good experience! I had an omlette with lots of vegetables stuffed in it. Delicious, but so very, very filling! I didn't need lunch that day! And plus I felt slightly nauseous. Actually I had Mexican fast food on two occasions: once at Chipotle and once at Taco Bell. Felt sick and fat after both meals. Fast food is not for me.

My parents and my uncle went to museums and things on Monday and Tuesday. I didn't go because I was still tired from Washington D.C. On Tuesday, us five cousins and my aunt went to watch Avatar. I went for company, which was great! But the movie is just not my thing. It's science fiction. I had no idea what was going on the entire time. And when I did get it, it just didn't click for me! Plus the 3D glasses gave me a headache! The movie definitely does not live up to the hype for me but then neither did Titanic. After the movie my cousin headed to teach dancing to a bunch of five/six/seven year olds! His sister and I went to watch him. He's so cute! A fifteen year old teaching! He is really good!

On Wednesday afternoon, my dad's younger brother, his wife, my parents and I headed off to Times Square! My aunt had booked a Broadway show! Mary Poppins! So after finding a parking spot, sipping some coffee and buying a scarf and beanie in the middle of the street, we walked the streets of Times Square, soaking in the lights, the life and the atmosphere! Time passes so quickly in Times Square! The Broadway show was at seven so we decided to have dinner at around 5:30pm at an Italian Restaurant called 'Olive Garden'. It was fabulous! For drinks I had a mango and strawberry daquiri with rum. Yum!!

We headed to our Broadway show after dinner. It was unimaginably good! The storyline of Mary Poppins is thin but the acting, singing, prop management, costume management, coordination and synchronisation was absolutely mind blowing! We were enthralled! The sets were the best part! So real! Also, acting live so professionally is amazing! That's why theatre actors are so much better than normal actors! Three hours slipped by just like that! They got a standing ovation from us!

The final event in New Jersey was on the evening before our departure, the Friday. It was my grandmother's birthday and my dad's youngest brother and his wife hosted a grand party at their place. They had about seventy people over. There was a huge musical/karaoke session that started at 8:30pm and ended at 2:30am! My dad belted out about twelve songs, my mum sang one and I sang two, one of which was the duet that I sang with my dad at my 21st. There was an amazing array of food items, including delicious entreé. It was the perfect way to end a fabulous trip! There was only one thing my parents and I hated. During the entire night, the thought of having to leave everyone the next day and fly back lingered at the back of our minds. It was not a nice feeling to have. But all good things must come to an end.

We did leave the next day at around 12:30pm. Our flight was at 4:30pm. Saying goodbye to everyone was the hardest thing we had to do. I really want to work in New York and settle in New Jersey. One day. In the meantime we came back last Monday.

I was so extremely exhausted. I hadn't eaten anything for almost a day! I felt like I was going to faint. We reached home at 11:30am. I brushed my teeth, showered and we went out for lunch. It was only after this that I regained some strength. I wanted to be awake until night time so as to get adjusted to Sydney time and avoid jetlag. I went to my room at 6:30pm thinking I'd just take a half hour nap. I never came down that night! I woke up at 2:10am and felt like I was wide awake! Since that is such a weird time to wake up I forced myself to sleep until 5:30am. So that was eleven hours of continuous sleeping! But it did me a lot of good and I got back to normal.

I just want to say that while I've recounted all the events that happened in America, it was the little things that made the trip special. Spending time with my cousins would be right up there! My dad's younger's brother's son is so funny! Such an entertainer! I got closer to his sister this time. We chatted a lot! Of course all of my other cousins as well!

All of us would stay up late every night, talking, laughing, recounting old times, making jokes, laughing, discussing things...and did I mention laughing? This is what I miss the most! Oh and we're a very musical family. All of us love music. So there were lots of karaoke sessions, listening to songs on the iPod in the car, etc., most of which I listen to everyday now just to recollect the memories! These are the things I miss most! I'm already ready to go back there! Hopefully, we'll go again in the future!

Well that was my wonderful U.S.A trip! I still have to write about my Chikkappa's 50th but I'll do that tomorrow as a separate entry tomorrow. Check out facebook for the photos!

Where do I begin with this wonderful USA trip! It was a pleasure from day one! Except of course, the flight. Don't get me wrong, it was perfectly safe. But man, 21 hours of flying, plus three hours transit! A day of traveling in total! Plus we had customs in Los Angeles while on transit to New York. The security there is INSANE! We have to remove everything but our clothes! Thank God! Plus, because I was in a wheelchair, I had to be scanned separately. The security lady took at least fifteen minutes to scan me, then the wheelchair, then me, then the wheelchair! And then, for some reason she just went off! Without telling me I could go. So I waited and waited. I ran out of patience so I asked another security lady if I was done. She instinctively knew I was probably done but couldn't let me go without proper authorisation. She asked me to identify the security lady who scanned me. As if I would know! So she had to get another lady to scan me....AGAIN! So all in all in was a forty-five minute process! Damn 9/11!

So anyway we finally reached JFK and saw that both my dad's brothers and one of my cousins had come to receive us! We were thrilled! But I can't describe just how cold it was! So cold that I couldn't breathe! This, despite wearing three layers! Fallen snow lay everywhere. I was too exhausted to even speak in the car! We went to one of my uncles' home, showered and ate a nice hot fresh meal! Heaven!

Then began the craziness of the trip! My dad's two brothers live in New Jersey but his sister lives in Chicago. While we landed on the 22nd of December, they came on the 24th. Of  course my grandmother had already been in New Jersey for a couple of months before us. So it was all 16 of us together again!

From there it began! We had a Christmas party at my dad and his family's oldest family friend's house. The next day we had a religious function at my uncle's house as part of his 50th. In the evening the adults had a musical/karaoke session in my uncle's basement. I have to mention that my uncle's basement is HUGE and nicely renovated. In one corner, it's partitioned into a separate room and in it is a home theatre system! A 96-inch projector screen, with a satellite dish, DVD playing capabilities and everything! I watched at least fifteen movies while I was there! They even have four recliners, comfortable as anything! Free gold class cinema!

The next day, twelve of us went to watch a Bollywood movie, 3 Idiots! Three of my cousins weren't interested and went to watch some other movie, while my other cousin had to go to a birthday party. It was a fabulous experience! Not only was it a fantastic movie (I've watched it on DVD three times since then), it was also a great experience to watch it with my family!

The seven cousins followed each other everywhere. We would alternate our time between the two uncles' houses. We wouldn't sleep until 2am or 3am or so.

One afternoon/evening/night was devoted to visiting New York. We went on a ferry ride and has a nice view of Manhattan. But the best part was after this. My uncle's friend owns various businesses and a limousine service is either his client or his company uses it a lot. So he arranged a limousine for us and we zoomed through the streets of New York in a limousine! He also arranged for us to visit NBC Tower in Rockerfeller Centre for a sky view! Fabulous, just fabulous!

We stopped at a pizza fast food joint for dinner. I tell you, each piece, ONE single piece was the size of one whole dinner plate! It was thick, cheesy and fat fat fat! I couldn't even make it through one piece, while my cousin had four or five pieces! Now THAT was quintessential America! 

Just a couple of days before New Year's Eve, my cousin, Sumanth from my mum's side also came to stay with us so we followed us everywhere as well. Somewhere in between, we all gathered at one uncle's place and watched various movies, including Mamma Mia! Oh the fun times!

On New Year's Eve we went to my uncles' family friend's Indian restaurant for a huge bash. It started off dull but picked up as the evening wore on. All of us cousins crashed at my dad's younger brother's house that night.

We had a fabulous time post-party. My cousin Sumanth is doing his PhD in chemical engineering, which obviously means he will be Dr. Sumanth in a few months. My other cousin, who's in year 10, found this absolutely fascinating. She's a bubbly girl with no inhibitions, and she's very very friendly. Now, this was the first time she had met Sumanth but that didn't matter. She chatted to him, enquiring him about his work, asking technical questions, with chemistry jargon. Very intelligent but very funny. A few of her more funnier dialogues were as follows:

Smitha: Have you ever exploded while conducting experiments in the lab?
Sumanth: No
Smitha: I want to be a chemical engineer but only if you wear lab coats. Do you wear lab coats?
Sumanth: Not really. Not all the time
Smitha: Oh, then I don't want to be one
Sumanth: I'm going to Manhattan tomorrow, you want to come with me? You'll just chatter during the train journey and keep me entertained
Smitha: Will you be wearing a lab coat tomorrow?

I exploded with laughter. It was an entertaining hour and a half, just watching the two of them interact! Sumanth later told me that Smitha's his favourite out of all my cousins!

I don't remember what we did during New Years Day but at night we went out to an Indianised pizza place. Fabulous pizza! These were normal, smallish pizza sizes. Plus I was absolutely famished! So much so, I couldn't talk! I think I had a total of two or three plates! Man I feel like eating a piece right now!


January 2nd was my uncle's surprise 50th birthday, the main reason for our America visit. I'll need to make a separate entry for this. On 3rd January my parents treated everyone for dinner at an Indian-Chinese restaurant. Now you may wonder what an Indian-Chinese restaurant is. It's not really Chinese at all. It's just stuff like noodles, soup, stir fries and fried rice is made in an Indian style. There are HEAPS of vegetarian options. Only Indians go here and there are never any Chinese people there! It's a weird but delicious concept! We went to a restaurant called Ming, which is absolutely delicious! Unfortunately there are no Indian-Chinese restaurants in Sydney, or no GOOD one at least, so I made the best of it there and ate a LOT!

The next day it was time for my dad's sister's family to head back to Chicago. They left from my other uncle's house so we made our way there to say goodbye. After they left my mum, my aunt, my two cousins and I did something really fun! My uncle has a whole lot of home videos where all of us cousins were REALLY young and were in Bangalore, India. We sat and watched that for two and a half hours or so! It is so funny to watch old home videos, especially when you don't remember yourself being that stupid as a child and you watch yourself. Totally cringe worthy!

We visited my mum's niece and her husband in Virginia from 13th-16th January. We traveled in a train from New Jersey! Although more expensive than a flight, we totally enjoyed the ride! We visited the Jewish Holocaust Museum, the News Museum and Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. The Holocaust Museum was really good, very solemn. Of course the News Museum was a delight for me, since I want to be a journalist.

We returned to New Jersey on the 16th. My relatives were saying how dull it was without us, which was nice to hear! We totally missed them too! My other uncle and family also came to my uncle's house so it was a whole lot of laughter, catching up and general merriment!

Okay I'd better spill over to another blog entry. This is getting quite long.

Well it's almost here. Tomorrow at 6pm I fly off to New Zealand. I cannot begin to explain how much I need this break! I'll be back next Sunday evening. We then have to unpack, finish packing for USA and then leave for USA on Tuesday morning. So see you next Sunday!!! Until then, be safe, and much love!

Next week this time, we'll be having lunch before we head off to the airport for New Zealand!!! Packing is pretty much done for both NZ and USA. There's just too much to take to USA. Two types of Indian clothes, Western fancy clothes, plus warm daily wear. Plus all the matching jewellery and stuff. But it's almost done.

I'm going for my eyebrows and haircut next week. It's been two months and I feel like a chimpanzee! I also got a new bedroom suite for my room. My parents bought a double bed base and a side table. The bed base has four drawers at the bottom, a feature I really liked!! However, we didn't buy a mattress. I'm sleeping on the old futon mattress we used to have. It's helping with my neck pain a bit. A bit.

On the bitter side, I prevented my parents from going to the temple yesterday. I'm just so angry with God these days I don't want to have anything to do with him/her/it. I know I have no right to stop my parents with their beliefs but I'm so angry right now that I couldn't stop myself. They actually didn't go. My mum was really angry with me all day, not that I blame her. But I still don't regret what I did because the truth of the matter is I didn't want them to go to the temple. But sooner or later I'm going to have to deal with it. Just not now.

So I have about 27 days until USA and about two and a half weeks until New Zealand. God, time is passing ever so slowly! In other news, my neck pain from sleeping on the wrong pillow is back, though I don't know which one the wrong pillow is. Therefore, from now on, no pillows. One of my M*A*S*H DVDs keeps getting stuck in the same scene, which I somehow want to get fixed. And I had a really weird dream last night.

Apparently a friend of mine coerced me into buying tickets for the Britney Spears concert. As if! Anyway, I bought them. Guess how much they were! $451 a ticket! Yep, that exact number! I apparently made my parents and another family friend go with me. We were mildly enjoying her music (which was lip synced by the way) when a religious riot suddenly broke out and fanatics started shooting with their guns! We ran out of there! Yep, that was my dream!

Back to reality, and mum's gone on a shopping rampage for gifts for our relatives in America. We're all just desperately counting down to our two trips! Hope they live up to expectations.

Otherwise, I'm really bored. And I'm reflecting on the pathetic excuse for a year that was 2009! And statements like 'hope next year will be better' means squat!

So this American 'festival' so to speak is trickling its way into Australia. Our street is full of kids and families and everyone gets into the spirit. Kids started coming at around 3-4pm and it kept going until 7:30pm or so. At one stage, when my parents and I were getting ready to go out, I heard lots of chatter through my parents' bedroom window. There was practically a PARADE, as at least 30 people, dressed in costumes walked the streets! Devils, lots of witches, etc. filled our road! It was hilarious! I love the way this street gets into the spirit of things. Our old neighbourhood in Girraween wasn't like that.

My foot pain has decreased considerably for now. Of course, I'm always skeptical but I'd forgotten what it was like to be pain free so I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Hopefully the improvement will continue. But my spirits are way down. I spent all of last week depressed. I'd sleep at 3am, get up at noon or later, not eat, and just sit and stare. Then mum would come home, I'd scream and shout and then cry. It's a tiring process. I'm just depressed because of this whole ordeal. Plus the fact that I'm going to have to defer my thesis until next year and submit it in June or so. Everyone else has handed theirs in and I'm not going to be able to graduate with them. Very depressing. I had to defer for a year after the HSC and now another six months. My degree is turning out to be an epic mountain climb.

On the brighter side, we have 43 days until our New Zealand trip! Us and two family friends are going there on the 13th of December and returning on the 20th. My parents and I are then headed off to America on the 22nd of December!! Can't wait! I wish I'd finished my thesis before then but what to do. The countdown begins...

So here I am post the surprise party. I've got to admit, Saturday night was one of the best nights of our lives! So here's how it went down. As I predicted I didn't sleep all of Friday night and kept tossing and turning, butterflies dancing in my stomach. I was up by 7:30am on Saturday.  My parents and I were out at Wentworthville most of the day, getting haircuts and eyebrows done and doing some grocery shopping. As usual mum was really depressed and said she did not want to go home. So we went to Bonds in Pendle Hill, before heading home. Mum was saying she wanted to go to Westfield, Parramatta because she didn't feel like going home. I strictly forbade her because I knew we would be late to get home and I was expecting Hema Aunty and Sreedhar Uncle to come by. They had called around 2pm or so saying they would come. Mum still wanted to go to Westfield, but I refused to let her.

So we came back home and my stomach was continuing to dance with butterflies. I was nauseous from anxiety! Hema/Sreedhar had said they would come between 3:30 and 4pm but it was 4:30pm and they still weren't here. I quietly went upstairs and gave them a call. They said they were going to come home at 5pm because they had forgotten to get the dessert. They were on their way to another friend's house to drop that off so that my parents wouldn't get suspicious. So I decided that I could squeeze my shower in before they came. By the time I finished they had reached! The acting began. I came downstairs and commented on how dressed up Aunty was. She lied that she was at a function. Mum offered to make coffee but Sreedhar Uncle suggested they head off to Rouse Hill shopping mall to one of the cafés. Luckily both my parents readily agreed. I lied that I was feeling tired and wanted to nap. Yeah right! As soon as I heard the garage door close I raced upstairs and got ready. By 6pm Lakshmi Aunty and Jagannath Uncle was here. Lakshmi Aunty was the main initiator and co-ordinator of the whole thing! In the next ten minites two or three other families were here and began the decorations. One of our family friends had made a huge banner which said 'Happy 25th Anniversary Anu and Ramesh'.

They hung that on the curtain, put balloons around it, put streamers and balloons on the ceiling and the decorations were done. Simple, yet effective! Our huge dining table was moved, huge mats were laid on the floor and the room was set. We had the party in the family room by the way. At about ten to seven one of the uncles called Sreedhar Uncle telling him we were ready. Sreedhar Uncle lied to my parents, saying their computer was ready and they needed to go pick it up. The uncle who called works in IT. So they headed back home. Meanwhile we'd darkened the room and were waiting with our video and still cameras. The moment of truth was here. Dad entered through the garage door into the house. What he heard was about 40 people screaming 'SURPRISE!!' Meanwhile, while he was busy being overwhelmed, mum entered through the front door. We yelled 'SURPRISE' a second time!

What followed was priceless. Two stunned, shocked and totally surprised people! But happy people! I hadn't seen them this happy in five months! They kept hugging everyone, all the while exclaiming 'Oh My God, I can't believe this!!!!!!!!' A few minutes later mum started crying her eyes out! Her emotions from this whole fracture ordeal combined with her happiness of the night and she just cried. Our GP and his wife were also there and she got even more emotional!

After it sort of sunk in, we asked the couple to go upstairs and get ready. It was so hard for my mum to choose what to wear amongst all the stunned surprise! Of course it's easier with men! After they were ready I asked everyone to gather in the family room and asked my parents to walk in, hand-in-hand. Everyone clapped and cheered! By this time the sofa against the back wall was moved so that we could project the slideshow on the wall. Of course there were a few technical difficulties in connecting the laptop to the projector but they managed. In fact, it was our GP who fixed it! And then the night started. I started off with my power point presentation, showing people photos of my parents as children, their engagement, wedding and  snaps 'til date. I gave commentary on each snap. But I didn't know the story behind most of the snaps so I asked my dad to fill us in. So the presentation was full of anecdotes of how my parents' marriage was arranged and little romantic anecdotes during their engagement, wedding and their marriage in general.

What followed were a couple of songs, a few speeches and one dance item from another couple, a family friend. It was awesome! It was also an extremely emotional evening. One aunty who sang a song composed her own lyrics for one of the verses. She sang about my parents and me and our family and stuff. Both her and my parents cried! My dad cried! I've never seen him cry! My dad sang two songs, both romantic songs devoted to my mum. Of course there was dinner, an absolute banquet! Each family had made an item! One of our family friends had brought a professional music system.

Every thing wrapped up around midnight and people slowly started leaving. Furniture was moved back and four families remained for a final little chat. Of course, the discussion only entailed explaining how the surprise party was planned to my parents. The last couples left at 2am! Because I hadn't slept for a single second the previous night I was sleepy as hell but my parents were on an absolute high! So mum started unwrapping the gifts! They got some great gifts including a Mikasa vase, shirts, perfumes, after shave lotions, hand bags, and heaps of saris!

It was off to bed after that!

For the first time in months I'm happy! Tomorrow, family friends and I are throwing a surprise 25th anniversary party for my parents! About five weeks ago, Lakshmi Aunty called me one afternoon. I was depressed and napping. That would soon change. She suggested that we hold a surprise party for my parents to cheer them up. Back in May my parents were planning to have a religious function for their anniversary. Their anniversary was on 27th September. But with my stress fracture all that got blown to pieces. So, Lakshmi Aunty suggested this instead. I was up for it and super excited. At first she wanted to have it on 27th September itself because that would have been the actual day. But I was reluctant for two reasons. First of all it was short notice. Secondly she herself was going to be in China at that time, which meant she herself couldn't have attended, which would've sucked. Luckily, when she found that a lot of people were busy on that evening she set a different date. Saturday, 17th October 2009. Much better!

So 22 families (basically couples, with a few kids here and there) are headed over here tomorrow. All the aunties are cooking an item each. Someone has been designated for plates, spoons, cups, bowls, etc. Some are bring decorations. Others are bringing a music system, a projector and a screen. I basically didn't have to do a thing except a power point presentation on their life, which I started and finished today! Hema Aunty and Sreedhar Uncle are coming over tomorrow afternoon to drag my parents out of the house so that we can move the furniture and do the decorations. Hopefully, by that time, all the friends would have gathered at home. Around 6:30pm Hema Aunty and Sreedhar Uncle are going to bring my parents back and HOPEFULLY we'll give them the surprise of their lives!

Of course I am a perpetual pessimist. What if we can't convince them to go out with Hema Aunty and Sreedhar Uncle? What if they come back and we're not ready yet? What if they're unhappy with the whole thing? What if they get pissed off at me? I can only hope for the best!

Onto other news. After my foot started hurting severely again I had another x-ray and CT scan done. The x-ray showed spots on my bones and the CT report said it might be an infection or rheumatoid arthritis. The CT scan was the most painful exercise of my life. To keep my foot still the radiologists kept cushions against the sole of my foot. That pressure hurt me so much that my palms started sweating as did my face. I was crying like a little child. I was squeezing my dad's hand so hard, it was like I was in labor. 

 I had an MRI done last Monday. It was done under sedation to prevent my tremours and spasms. But the radiologists cushioned my foot so beautifully ths time that my foot was pretty stable even without sedation. I was hilariously dazed after my MRI. When my dad asked me to press the lift button I just blankly stared into space, as if he wasn't talking to me! And I didn't even realise it! And my speech was slurred for about half an hour.

Anyway, after about four hours of suspense we found out the result. The MRI ruled out any infection or rheumatoid arthritis on my right foot and confirmed a stress fracture. Not only this, it said I had a second stress fracture on the side of my foot. Yep, that's right. Two stress fractures! My parents and I went to a rheumatologist yesterday. First of all, he was fantastic. He examined each and every scan and report and thoroughly talked to me and checked out my foot. He agreed with the diagnosis. He recommended proper foot wear in the future, plenty of rest, lots of calcium and Vitamin D. He confidently ruled out infection and didn't even bother with the rheumatoid stuff! He found it quite unsurprising that it had taken this long to heal and said this is all very natural. The three of us came out feeling extremely relieved.

On a more negative note I'll have to temporarily defer my thesis and start again next year, maybe extending it to June. I'll never finish my education at this rate! But on the other hand it's practical advice from my supervisor. I've hardly progressed, I don't have enough time and with a second stress fracture it's extremely difficult. Argh I hate this year! It's turned into a real bitch!

Okay that's it for now. I'm so excited for tomorrow, I don't think I can sleep!

So as you know, I have a stress fracture on my right foot, due to which I haven't been able to go to work for about four months now. Call it destiny, call it coincidence, but I got mail from the Commonwealth Bank today about some injury insurance cover or something. On the back of the envelope, in big bold letters, was the following message.

I've had two nights of weird celebrity dreams in a row. The night before last I dreamed that Alan Alda (M*A*S*H) catches my bus. Except it wasn't the usual Hillsbus. It was some old cranking bus, with open windows, no air conditioner and light brown vinyl seats. I'm pretty sure it was a bus for senior citizens in Los Angeles. Anyway, I saw Alda on the bus everyday and started saying hello to him after a while. I dreamed him as the aged person he is now, by the way, so don't get any ideas. It was grampa Alda.

After a few days of gushing over his work on M*A*S*H I decided to suck up to him even more. I went to Westfield Parramatta (even though the bus was in Los Angeles- that's dreaming for you) and bought him a yellowish tie with white spots on it and some cheap wallet. I spent a total of $27 on my dad's credit card. I went back on the bus the next day and was about to gift the stuff to Alda, when I suddenly felt stupid and shy. I decided not to give it to him. But as he was getting off, he came to me to say goodbye. I was so shocked that he voluntarily came up to me to say goodbye that I dropped the tie as a reflex. He picked it up and was about to give it to me when I said 'no it's okay, you keep it'. He looked at the tie, stone-faced, looked at me, stone-faced, said 'thank you', deadpan, and got off the bus.

I woke up with a sweat, thinking I'd wasted money on a man who didn't really care that I'd put in the effort. I felt completely stupid for doing it. I also woke up with a sweat because I'd used my credit card to buy the gifts without asking my dad. I knew he'd check my account and ask why I'd bought it! It was then that I realised that it was ALL a dream!

My dream last night joins a growing list of, what I now cal, 'The Obama Dream Series'. I dreamed that Obama only lasted a term in office and was practically kicked out. His replacement was a combination of Jimmy Carter and George Bush Snr. I was distraught, not the least because the combined ages of these men is at least 540 years old! Again, I woke up and sighed in relief, knowing it was only a dream!

These days, I day dream too! It's December 12th, 2009. My thesis has been submitted, I'm packing my suitcase and I'm getting ready to jet off to New Zealand the next day! This dream could very well become reality! Just hope!

My stress fracture saga continues. I'd been taking painkillers and anti-inflammatory tablets, which was controlling the pain. The specialist said I should slowly stop taking them because they can become addictive. So I slowly stopped taking one tablet at a time until all I'm taking now is panadol once a day. The pain came flooding back! On top of that I had to go into uni on Friday to pick up my assignments from last semester. I'm an idiot. My tutor was going to post all of them but I thought she was only going to post the assignments of one particular subject so my dad took me to uni to pick up everything. As you may know, visits to uni always involve walking. I think that could've contributed to my pain. Basically I'm back at square one and have not progressed at all in the past two months.

We got worried so I asked my dad to take me to our GP today. He had no solutions. He said it has to heal by itself over time. In the meantime he has prescribed the same painkillers that my specialist had told me to wean off. And his exact quote was 'there's nothing medical science can do beyond this.' Doctors study for 12 years, do internships, earn billions of dollars, live in mansions and buy three or four top brand cars. But there is nothing they can do about my pain. I have to continue to suffer.

My grandmother recommended that I start Ayurveda, which is Indian herbal medicine. I have to apply oil in the morning, take herbal tablets twice a day and apply gel at night. I started five days ago, So far, no change. If it does work it will take another 2-3 weeks before I notice anything, according to the Ayurveda doctor. Meanwhile I have to remain in pain.

I realised a possible cause of my stress fracture today. Hillsbus changed around a lot of their timetables for many of their routes. One of the routes was 611, which I caught from the M2 to my uni. This stops pretty close to my class, although construction at uni meant I had to take a longer route. However, since they changed their timetables I could no lnger catch it because I'd be late to class. Therefore I had to catch 619, which stopped outside uni. I had to walk at least half an hour everyday, three days in a row. I'm not used to walking so much contiinuously. I think this may have been a contributor. I wish I could sue the bastards!

My parents are shell shocked with stress. They walk around the house like zombies, barely functioning, having just enough energy to do basic house work and go to work. In the midst of all this my grandmother dropped a bombshell on us today. She said she could no longer handle the stress of my pain and demanded that she be sent back to Bangalore. Today my GP took my blood to do a blood test to see if I have arthritis. My grandmother said she doesn't like looking at blood and walked out of the GP's office,

She can conveniently escape our stress. Can we?

For those of you who don't know I'm a die hard M*A*S*H fan. M*A*S*H stands for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital and I assume there are a lot of those in war fields for wounded soldiers. M*A*S*H is set in the Korean War, which took place from 1950-1953. The actual show ran from 1972-1983, a phenomenal 11 years. It can fit into the genre of dramedy, with a mixture of drama and comedy. I've been watching this show since year five. Mum and I are both die hard fans and we've been collecting the DVDs for about 5 years now. Only last week did we finally complete the collection, buying the 11th season!

I wanted to watch the finale but it's a two-hour show, so I'd put it off. On Saturday afternoon it coincidentally came on Fox Classics on Foxtel. The first thing I thought of was why they couldn't air it all this time when I didn't have the DVD. I thought of not watching it because finales always make me sad and depressed. I started watching it here and there and before I knew it I was sucked into it. It is M*A*S*H after all! As it was getting more and more interesting guests came over so I unfortunately had to turn it off. Last night I got out my brand spanking new DVD and played the finale. My grandmother, mother and I watched every scene till it ended. It was awesome! So touching! In the first place we love M*A*S*H because it is so realistic in its settings, characters, acting, costumes and overall atmosphere. In the finale, when everyone said goodbye to each other they have done it so emotionally that we really got the feeling that these people have lived together in a war hospital camp, been through hell and back together and are now separating. Awesome!

Of course, I always go through withdrawal symptoms after watching a finale so I should go start watching  the earlier seasons' episodes to feel better!

I got a reply from Mr. Y yesterday, saying he got my form and he's passed it on to the concerned people. Finally! Now I have to wait and see if I get the extension. It really shouldn't be a problem since I've attached a doctor's certificate and since my supervisor has assured me that I will get an extension. But I don't trust this uni anymore so you never know! Fingers crossed.

I'm not going to use any real names in this post because I don't want to get caught. I e-mailed my supervisor a few weeks ago telling her I wanted a two month extension on my thesis because of my fracture. She said I should e-mail a lady called Ms. X regarding it because she takes care of these things. So I e-mailed her and got no response. About five days later I called her and she said that she had not seen my e-mail. On top of that she does not take care of extensions and led me to a website with the extension form. I went to that website, filled out the form, attached a doctor's certificate and went with my dad and cousin and grandmother to Macquarie to hand it in. My dad and my cousin went to student enquiries to hand it in. I waited for a week before I called student enquiries because I hadn't heard any response from them and they'd told my dad they'd respond in five days. When I called student enquiries they said they didn't know and told me to call a guy called Mr. Y from Coursework Studies Section. I called him, gave him my details and let me know how the progress is going.

Last week on Friday I got an e-mail from Mr. Y saying he can't trace my form, asked me who I handed it into and said I have to hand in another copy because student enquiries must have lost it. So I sent my cousin to uni on Monday to talk to someone to see what happened. Of course the idiots at student enquiries were clueless. She then traced Mr. Y's boss and all he had to say was that I had to keep in touch with Mr. Y on the matter. Well, duh I knew that! So my dad had to take me again yesterday to hand in another copy. This time dad wrote Mr. Y's name on the form, his section and was very firm with the girl at student enquiries that the form must go to Mr. Y. straight away. I have to call him tomorrow to confirm.

This is what happens when students are nothing but numbers and forms. Unbelievable bureaucracy, asking me to go to a million people and still not setting it straight after all of it. And on top of that they made me go through another trip to Macquarie during this fracture. We're planning to meet with someone at some stage to express all of our honours complaints throughout the year and this bungle will be at the top of my list!

On the brighter side my foot seems to be improving slightly. I went to the specialist today and he saw an improvement as well. The only thing he said was that I should get off  the painkillers as soon as possible because they can be quite addictive. I needed to be on them during my crisis, but I hope I don't need them anymore. My only big concern is that the pain will return once I stop the tablets. I'm really hoping that won't happen. I don't want this progress to stop! I'm just really praying and crossing my fingers. 

So before the chaos of this stress fracture (boo) I finished a semester of honours. Boy was it full on! Especially the second half of the semester when all the assignments were due. I did three subjects, which is what we had to do. One was Critical Methodologies. This was a cultural studies subject and we learnt different theories of analysis that we can possibly use for the thesis. This was a major disappointment. When I started the application process for honours I thought this subject would be about the methods we needed to use to write our thesis. I thought they would teach us techniques of how to write an honours thesis. Instead it just turned out to be another cultural studies subject with lots of theories like deconstruction, bla bla! The biggest suffering point was that we had to keep an ongoing workbook of each week's lessons. There would be various questions for each week's topic and we had to answer those plus critically analyse the readings and write some reflections of our own. Me being me, I left it to the last minute. I only started it during the second half of the semester, which meant I had to write each week's log plus catch up on seven weeks. And it wasn't just a matter of writing it. Each week's topic was so difficult to decipher! The language was so hard that I had to google some of the topics to find secondary sources that would better explain what it was talking about. Then, me being me, I went on blabbing about each week's topic. In the end this assignment itself ended up being 14,200 words! This is more than the thesis! We then had to write a 3,500 word essay. We had to use one or more of the methodologies we've learnt, apply it to our thesis topic and explain how the methodologies are applicable and what its drawbacks are. This ended up being about 3,800 words. So that was 18,000 words for one subject!

My favourite subject was Celebrity, Charisma and Fame. As per the name this subject was about the various aspects of celebrity construction, why they are revered by society, why we pay so much attention to them and what makes them charismatic. We also looked at fandom and how fans are fanatically involved with celebrities. We had to do a presentation during one of the weeks for a topic of our own choosing. I chose to do reality television. I defined reality T.V. and talked about the various aspects of it, including analysing why people enjoy watching other people getting humiliated. It's because of a concept called schadenfreude, which is a German word and means deriving pleasure from other people's misfortune. We enjoy watching other people's inadequacies to feel better about ourselves. My final question was 'Is reality T.V. real or as fake as this?' By 'this', I mean a photo of me superimposed on the Australian Idol background. Here you are"



Kerry did it for me in a matter of five minutes! It was such a hit! I had a power point presentation for this presentation. I saved the photo till the final slide. And the text 'Is reality T.V. real or as fake as this?' came first in the final slide. The photo was the very last thing to appear. Everyone started laughing and clapping! It was a rage! I was happy! I just wanted to finish the presentation off in a fun way and this idea occurred to me. Thanks to Kerry, I was able to execute it.

We also had to write a 4,000 word essay on a topic of our own choosing. I chose to talk about fandom in Indian cinema for Indian stars. Not just Bollywood, but all over India. Fandom is especially prevalent in South Indian cinema, particularly Tamil and Telugu cinema. People do crazy things for their favourite stars. Each star has a fan club set up for them, with thousands of members across the country. The members are mainly from lower caste and lower class sections of society. It is said that these fans participate in these things to escape from their own lives of hardship and poverty. Not only that, they hope to alleviate it. They do crazy things for their favourite stars. They build temples for them and pray to them. Once, an actor called Chiranjeevi said a lady cut off her thumb and smeared his forehead with her blood. Rival fan clubs fight with each other if one insults another star. That's democracy down the drain! It was a very interesting essay to write. But of course, I was already in pain with my foot by this time. But I managed to finish it, although everyone was pushing for me to get an extension. I wanted to get it over and done with. So that was another 4,400 words. It is now 22,400 words.

The third and final subject was Eco Interventions. This looked at ecology, the environment and climate change from a humanities and cultural studies perspective. It looked at why certain aspects of the environment is important to us culturally and what they mean to us. We looked at various aspects like animals, water, cars & bicycles, land, etc. For this subject we had to attend three forums. The first forum was on climate change, the second one was on animals and the third one was a Q&A session on different aspects of the environment. We even had Tim Flannery as speaker for the first forum. Us honours students had to organise the third forum. But one of the students ended up doing most of the work because he is deeply involved in university activities and he had all the contacts. He's also a technological genius so he organised the sound systems, recording, etc. We then had to write a forum review on one of the forums. This was 1,500 words but mine ended up being 1,800 words.

For the essay we could choose any topic we wanted, related to the environment from a cultural perspective. I chose to write about cars and the dominance of it in our culture. I wrote about the gender significance of it and how it defines masculinity. I wrote about how cars are designed differently for women because it is assumed by car makers that women only use cars for domestic purposes such as shopping and taking kids to school and other activities. I also talked about how cars decide how urban spaces are designed. Roads for cars dominate urban space and pedestrians and bicycle riders are relegated to the side. I then talked about the environmental consequences of cars and gave pointers to how the use and design of cars can change to better protect the environment. Of course, the ban of cars would be the best idea but that is not practical and would definitely be met with protest. As usual I left this essay to the last minute so it was race against time the last few days. My friend and I started and finished at the same time we were neck and neck throughout! So it was good moral support. That was about 4,500 words.

I wrote a total of approximately 28,700 words this semester!

There was also a presentation for this subject. I did mine on water. I talked about how Aboriginals  treat water as a precious resource of the land but how the British exploited this resource during colonialism. I also talked about how society looks down on recycled water, especially for drinking. We learnt a concept called hauntology. Human spirits come back to haunt when they have been mistreated and have unfinished business in this world. These spirits are neither here nor there. The people who mistreated them can never escape punishment because they will always be haunted. Similarly, when we mistreat the environment the distorted disfigured version will always come back to haunt us. We have mistreated water. Therefore it has come back in the form of recycled water to haunt us. Recycled water is the disfigured version because it contained all sorts of disgusting things like faeces, dirt, etc. and it has come back to haunt us. We can never escape it. It was a fascinating perspective on water.

The best part about this semester was the camaraderie between classmates. We are very small groups in each class. So everyone got to know each other. We're all on facebook and some of us are on MSN. So there were four of us who would gather on MSN every evening and bitch about honours till midnight. It was so much fun and relieved all of our stress. I have never felt as close to university mates as I have this year and that's been awesome! I hope we continue to stay in touch. In fact I was supposed to go out with them the night after I handed in my final essay but I was stuck with this stress fracture and could not walk. Oh well, next time. And now, it's thesis time! I'm scared but excited!

In the meantime dad bought a new PC! The old one just died. It's Dell, with a 22" monitor. It's awesome! *Touchwood*. Also, my dad has officially booked tickets to go to America at the end of the year! We're leaving on December 22nd and we'll be there in time for Christmas and New Year's Eve. Now he has to book tickets for New Zealand! We want to leave on the 14th of December, return to Sydney on 22nd of December on the 21st or so and head to America on 22nd. The reason we're going to do it this way is because it is too expensive to fly from NZ to USA directly. I can't wait!!! It will be another family re-union!I hope my foot recovers by then!

Well I think I've caught you up on everything. Oh yeah! My grandmother came on Monday! We wanted her here to lift our spirits during this time. Mum and Dad were exhausted looking after me and I was feeling a bit down as well. We all feel better with her here!

Okay I've put this off for way too long! So here is a complete update on my stupid stress fracture. For a couple of months now my big toe on my right foot has been having muscle spasms. It kept leaning back. Because of that the middle of my foot started hurting. The area directly below my right toe. Not the sole of my foot. The area below my toe on my foot. I thought nothing of it and kept going. I kept complaining that it hurts to my parents but I refused to visit my doctor even though Dad insisted. 

Then during the June long weekend on Sunday it hurt so much that I could no longer walk. I soaked my foot in hot water but it didn't help. It was definitely time to visit the doctor. Unfortunately Monday was a long weekend which meant my GP wouldn't be working. At this time it was peak assignment time so I had to work on a  huge essay in tormenting pain. But it was my fault for leaving it to the last minute so I guess I deserved it. So I somehow passed Monday but I had a very bad night. I couldn't sleep because of the pain. 

The next day I got out of bed and brushed my teeth with great difficulty. I went to the doctor in my track suit, with my hair in a mess! I had to hold on to Dad's hand for every step. So I finally made it to the doctor's office. He saw that there was a huge swelling and the area of pain was had become very heated. It was a couple of degrees higher than other places. He gave me painkillers called mobik. I went away and took that for a couple of days and felt great. The pain went away. I even went to uni and handed in my essay with no problems. Then after that I missed taking the tablet for one day because I couldn't find it and everyone was asleep. Big mistake. The pain reached acute levels again. So we rushed back to the GP. He got worried that the pain increased so much just because I missed one pill. He started getting scared that it might be a virus or a bone infection. If it was a bone infection I'd have to be admitted to the hospital. He immediately ordered an X-Ray and an ultrasound. The report came back and said a virus had attacked my foot, which was causing the pain. He gave me some more pills. But they were not helping me. So we went back again a week later. I had to hand in another essay on this day and I couldn't even go to uni on my own. So my dad  had to take me. He had to hold my hand for every step. I handed in my essay and we were on our way to the doctor.

He got really worried and ordered an emergency bone scan for the next day. We spent the whole of that day worrying about what the bone scan might show. Because there was a swelling I got scared that it was a lump, which meant cancer. I had really awful thoughts in my mind. Anyway, the next day we went for my bone scan. That was a very long process. It started at 8:30am and finished at 1pm. We had to wait two hours in between before they did a second bone scan for confirmation. We had to wait another two hours before we could see our GP for the results. We were sweating with suspense!

At 3pm we went to our GP and he told us the results. He said I had a disease called avascular necrosis. The bones in our foot are very small and each bone has only one blood ventricle to supply blood to it. The blood supply to this particular bone had stopped and the bone had died! The other bones were trying to re-adjust to this new arrangement, hence causing the pain. It is a very rare disease and has no treatment. He gave me three painkillers and said the pain would go away over time. In any case he gave us a referral to an orthopedic surgeon to confirm it and to answer any specific questions. So on Monday we went to the specialist,. New problems started at this point. He was a very cold doctor and didn't give a shit about me. His diagnosis was completely different. He completely disagreed with avascular necrosis and said I had a stress fracture. He said I must have put pressure on a weak bone and this is how it occurred. He said I'd have to wear a boot to immobilise the foot.

I hated the idea of wearing a boot but I resigned to wearing it. But wearing a boot would be the least of my worries. The boot totally constrained movement on my right foot but it did not stop my muscle spasms, which I get due to cerebral palsy. Because I continually had spasms the pain increased day by day. I couldn't even put my foot down on the ground. I rang the orthopedic surgeon's office after four days. However, he was such a cold bastard that he refused to talk to me and his secretary spoke to me instead. She said I couldn't ask questions over the phone and said I had to make an appointment. I thought it was ridiculous that I had to make an appointment every time I had a question. The secretary asked the doctor my question and she called me back. She said it was quite normal for the pain to increase before it decreased. So I continued to wear it. This was on Friday.

On Friday night the pain gradually started increasing more and more. I couldn't sleep again Friday night. It was so bad by Saturday morning that I felt dizzy when I woke up. I tried sleeping, sitting, lying down, standing up. Nothing soothed the pain. I crawled everywhere around the house. My mum had to feed me food. I was hardly hungry. At 7pm I had a shower with great difficulty. I couldn't stand so I had to shower by sitting on a stool. My mum had to help me shower. I cried and moaned and screamed. It was a harrowing experience and my mum was positively traumatised by it. After my shower I sat down in my lounge room but I was still not comfortable. I kept rolling around everywhere. My mum fed me dinner. She was exhausted by this time and was about to settle down for the night. However by 8:30pm I was crying and asked my dad to call an ambulance. He didn't but parents rushed me to emergency at Westmead hospital. They gave me four painkillers in a matter of three hours. They kept me there for four hours for observation. I was calmer after the pills and we went home at 1:15am. I was exhausted and immediately went to sleep.

I took panadeine fort for the rest of the week. On Wednesday my parents went to a family friend's house and my GP was there. He was surprised that it was diagnosed as a stress fracture and asked me to come in for another X-Ray on Monday. My pain had increased again by this point. So I went for another X-Ray this Monday. My GP said he can't see the stress fracture so he called the orthopedic surgeon. He was not there. But he returned my GP's call the next day and they confirmed with each other that it is a stress fracture and they told me to continue with the boot. So I did. My pain immediately went up again. So all of us at home decided that I should not wear the boot and see if it helps. It has. I have improved, though I still have a long way to go. So that's my story. The doctor said it will take at least three-four months for full recovery. In the meantime I've applied for a two-month extension on my thesis and taken time off work. I'm just relieved that my coursework has at least finished so I can relax a bit.

Okay I'm sleepy so I'm off for a nap. Toodle doo!

Honours has kept me so freaking busy that I haven't even been able to blog. And I won't be able to blog until the 18th of June, which is when my last essay for the semester is due. And I am NOT starting my thesis that day!

When I come back I want to blog about Yumcha, honours, House finale and Adelaide. I know Adelaide's been a while but I haven't really blogged about it so I want to do that. Can't wait!

Until then, ciao!

So here I was at work yesterday quietly writing articles when at around 11:30am I felt really hungry. I didn't really have anything snacky and I didn't want to eat my fruits yet so I went to get my lunch. It was in a clear box with a purple lid- a box of rice with curry. I'd kept it in the fridge in the morning at about ten to eight when I got to work.

I opened the fridge and....it had disappeared! I looked everywhere and I couldn't find the box in the fridge. I closed the fridge to look around in the kitchen and it was set on the sink with the lid open and....hold your breath.....the rice THROWN! That's right! I then went up to one of my colleagues and told her what had happened. She was as intrigued and astonished as I was. And she was just as curious to find out who did it.

So she sent around an e-mail saying "Malavika works very hard and gets paid no money. She deserves to have her food!" So I found out who did it and she offered to pay for lunch. I turned it down as a courtesy and she actually didn't end up paying for it! The CEO also offered to buy me lunch from a Thai place but their only vegetarian option was stir fry. I turned it down and said I'd go buy a Felafel. I thought he'd give me money for that. Nothing! I shouldn't have to have lunch from where he wants to have lunch. He should've just paid for it! Being the wimp I am, I, of course, didn't even demand for money! So I ended up losing my home cooked food AND bought a $7 meal! Argh!

Plus, because I'm the intern I keep getting moved around, desk wise because new employees keep taking my seat. This company really doesn't give a shit about interns! And I can't leave because this is all I have and I don't have any job offers. Beggars can't be choosers I guess!

I'm going through a 'I-hate-everything-and-everyone phase! I should get over it! *Fingers crossed*

P.S. I'm graduating tomorrow. I don't feel like going but I got no choice.

P.P.S I feel more than pissed off but I can't find a stronger word in the 'mood' section!

Don't worry, this isn't going to be some philosophical rant. It's going to be a shallow materialistic rant, based on some very wise philosophy! Over the past couple of weeks I realised that everything happens for a reason. I also realised problems get solved in very mysterious ways and not necessarily directly. Okay keep up with the multiple stories I'm about to tell you, and if you get confused, ask questions!

1) My dad got a laptop from his work recently because it was getting a bit difficult to share the desktop at home, particularly during peak hour university assignment time. My dad sometimes works from home, like on weekends. So he was given a laptop. When he brought it home he tried to make it work with our broadband Internet but it wouldn't work for some reason. So he had to get a computer technician from his work to come over and fix it.

2) My parents bought me an iPod Nano 16GB for my birthday this year. Yay! I wanted to buy a hot pink colour but they didn't have it so I had to buy black. And may I say black looks pretty royal as well. I'm a sucker for black! But not in a Gothic way. So we were trying to hook it up with iTunes 4. Of course it didn't work with that version because the current version is iTunes 8! But I couldn't download it because I only had Internet Explorer 6, or whatever that older version. is.

3) For many months now we had a problem with our Internet Explorer 6 or whatever grandpa version that was. Every time we closed a window, an error message would come. If we had multiple windows open and I closed one window, this error message would pop up. So when it asked me if I wanted to send an error report I'd click 'don't send' because sending an error report made no use. But when I clicked 'don't send' ALL of the windows I had open would close! Imagine assignment time! I'd have about 20 windows open because I didn't want to lose any of them! And I couldn't download Internet Explorer 7 because when I opened that window an advertisement would try to pop up but was blocked or something so it couldn't complete the process. So then this error report would pop up again. Lo and behold! I would lose all my windows again! 

Are you with me so far? Or have I lost you? Come back....! Okay welcome back! So! The computer technician lady came home around last week or so to fix the laptop and its Internet connection. That was all well and good. The laptop was fixed! So then I asked her to take a look at this desktop problem as well. She somehow magically found some computer updating icon at the corner of the screen at the bottom. On it was an option to download Internet Explorer 7, which she did.

Well readers! I'm happy to inform you that Internet Explorer 7 is now downloaded! The error reports no longer appear! AND! AND! AND! It allowed me to download iTunes 8, which meant I could get my iPod Nano working!!! I totally love my iPod! It is so slim and sleek!

So you see how it was all connected? It's as if my dad got the laptop and it then wouldn't work only so that all of these wonderful things could happen! That's why I believe in fate and destiny, and not mere coincidence. My hope is, if these little problems can get solved in this way, maybe life's bigger problems will also somehow get solved! Please God!

Okay readers, when did I lose you?

Oh! Look at that! You're still with me!